discontinues

If you’re someone who “watches what you eat,” it’s important not to deny yourself the foods you crave by replacing them with a pale imitation of what you actually desire. Speaking from experience, that tactic only builds resentment toward the lower-calorie or otherwise “healthier” alternatives, rather than leaving you feeling satisfied with the swap. Nothing illustrates the gulf between regular and fat-free foods better than mayonnaise, a condiment that exists to add fattiness to food but whose fat-free iteration has somehow been allowed to proliferate for the last several decades. Today, Kraft Mayo says no more. Today, Kraft has issued a “mayo culpa” as it declares that its Fat Free Mayo will be discontinued forever.

(Yes, the above tweet that presents the mayo cancellation as a breakup text is the extent of the company’s public announcement on this matter. I checked with Kraft. No official press release is forthcoming—the tweet says it all.)

In an email to The Takeout, reps for Kraft explained that its fat free mayo simply falls short of its standards for what makes a good mayonnaise, a fact that many consumers have pointed out over the years. The decision to retire the product entirely is one that the company is quick to emphasize it did not take lightly, despite the fact that some customers might be disappointed. (Please, try to point me toward a single customer who will be disappointed.) An email on behalf of Kraft also